You'll Miss Me When I'm Gone

You'll Miss Me When I'm Gone

Eighteen-year-old twins Adina and Tovah have little in common besides their ambitious nature. Viola prodigy Adina yearns to become a soloist—and to convince her music teacher he wants her the way she wants him. Overachiever Tovah awaits her acceptance to Johns Hopkins, the first step on her path toward med school and a career as a surgeon. But one thing could wreck their c...

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Title:You'll Miss Me When I'm Gone
Author:Rachel Lynn Solomon
Rating:
Edition Language:English

You'll Miss Me When I'm Gone Reviews

  • Jasmine

    It’s official!

    just drew my reading year of 2017 to a close perfectly. Wow, I don’t even know where to begin with this splendid piece of writing by the lovely Rachel. This book is highly ed

    It’s official!

    just drew my reading year of 2017 to a close perfectly. Wow, I don’t even know where to begin with this splendid piece of writing by the lovely Rachel. This book is highly educational (in my opinion) and slightly entertaining.

    starts with a pair of 18-year-old, half-American, half-Israeli, Jewish twins,

    Siegel, hating each other’s guts from the very beginning to the end. They never stop feeling jealous toward the other’s achievements in life and they also have trouble communicating with each other since they all have so much to complain about and find fault with.

    is the academic genius who never fails a test and participates in a variety of extracurricular activities so that she can be fully prepared for the early application to the one and only Johns Hopkins. She aces in all her works and has an ambition to become a great surgeon in the future. She’s a well-disciplined and extremely obedient daughter who always follows the Jewish rules such as keeping kosher or wearing the evil eye bracelet all the time.

    On the contrary,

    is the treacherous, rebellious one who never quite listens to her Aba and Ima (that’s how Tovah and Adina call their papa and mama), who’s not afraid to go on an adventure just to see what life has to offer. Just because she doesn’t study as hard as Tovah doesn’t mean she’s not talented. In fact, Adina is a viola prodigy. She spends days and nights practicing viola; she even takes private lessons with Arjun, her 25-year-old Indian music teacher.

    I don’t know why but Tovah and Adina seem to fight/compete against each other on literally everything; one gets envious when the other achieves something great. They never stop arguing about trivial matters all the time, and I get that it’s probably the sibling thingy (honestly, sometimes twins are even worse because they’re the same age, they look identical and they have to share their parents’ love) but what I find hard to believe is how opposite, how different Tovah and Adina are.

    It’s already dreadful enough that both sisters keep comparing themselves with each other and constantly make the other’s life miserable; to make matters worse,

    Huntington’s disease is an inherited disorder that results in death of brain cells; some of the earliest symptoms include memory loss, mood swings, unsteady gaits, lack of coordination, hallucinations…etc.

    With the completely opposite test results, the twins are no longer twins. In order not to spoil anything about the story, I’d leave this part out for you to discover by yourselves. *wink*

    What I’d like to talk about is

    Little do I know how mentally unstable Adina actually is and the more her story unfolds, the more shocking I become.

    She never truly experiences puppy love because she always deems herself as a young girl with mature mind who deserves to

    be with older men. Yep, Adina is this kind of double-life girl who seems to perform excellently in front of prominent musical influencers while seeks a way to satisfy her sexual desire at nights.

    In the meanwhile, since the lovely-teacher’s pet-Tovah is so wrapped up in her studies and extracurricular activities, having a boyfriend is never on her to-do list in the near future. But who knows? Thanks to the adorable guy with a gap between his front teeth named

    , Tovah finally manages to see the world through an artist’s eyes. *heart eyes & pink bubbles*

    Tovah and Zack’s transformation from friends to lovers is both cheesy and awkward but I love it! I mean, they have some serious, real talks about love, life and even sex instead of the cliché sorts of sweet nothing.

    Undoubtedly, the main focus of this book is on the Siegel twins because whoa, you won’t believe how much they’ve improved throughout the story. When it comes to character development in a story, I always think it means the little steps those protagonists take or the subtle progress they make because those are pretty much what I’ve read so far. Thus, color me shock when I finished reading this book. *deadpan* Adina is the ticking bomb in the Siegel family and Tovah is the most motivated one in life; in the last few chapters of the book, both of them somehow realize the essence of life and the knowhow to live life to the fullest all of a sudden. No kidding, the twins suddenly find their unique way of compromise and for once, I finally feel relieved to see them stick together like a family does.

    All in all, I have a good time reading

    since the plot twists are so intense and the huge difference between Tovah and Adina’s personalities is pretty intriguing. Though I admit that this book at some point makes me feel really, really down because there are some serious issues addressed and Rachel’s writing is so good that it’s hard not to feel what the characters are struggling with.

    In my opinion,

    before reading/recommending this book to someone else. Besides, I would totally suggest teenagers (especially senior high school students) read

    since most of the main characters are facing a lot of indecisions about their college majors, future careers, meanings of life and such but most importantly, their lessons of life are what you truly don’t want to miss!

    Anyway,

    is a brilliant debut work of Rachel and I

    it to everyone (*please note the TW)! It’s one of my most anticipated reads for 2018 and I’m pleased to say that it doesn’t disappoint. Lastly, I just want to say that Rachel, you’re officially one of my top favorite authors from now on!

  • Andrea

    I can’t give this anything less than 5 stars because I devoured it. I read it in one day, and by the end of it I was emotionally drained. This story broke my heart over and over again. I had to take little breaks between chapters to just catch up on my thoughts.

    This follows two estranged sisters, who are complete opposites. One artistic and outgoing, and the other academic and an introvert. After their 18th birthday, they are tested for Huntington’s, which runs in

    I can’t give this anything less than 5 stars because I devoured it. I read it in one day, and by the end of it I was emotionally drained. This story broke my heart over and over again. I had to take little breaks between chapters to just catch up on my thoughts.

    This follows two estranged sisters, who are complete opposites. One artistic and outgoing, and the other academic and an introvert. After their 18th birthday, they are tested for Huntington’s, which runs in the family. One of them tests positive, the other negative. Now one sister must rethink her future plans and factor in Huntington’s, while the other has to wrestle with the guilt of testing negative while her sister tested positive.

    There were times that

    Adina and Tovah were unlikable,

    They were flawed, sometimes selfish, but very complex and real. Their relationship was so far from perfect, with jealousy and guilt between them. And there were times when you were siding with Adina in their arguments, and then the next chapter you were rooting for Tovah. But the end of day, you just couldn’t help but sympathize with both of them. They both made their mistakes, but they both were so well-developed and you just wanted them to reconcile and try to fix their relationship.

    Every single relationship in this book was so fragile. Adina and Tovah’s relationship, their relationship with their parents, with their love interests, their friends. I recommend this to anyone who likes reading about complex characters.

    This story also has a heavy focus on the sisters’ religions: Judaism. They talk a lot about their faiths, traditions, and practices. One sister is very religious while the other has her doubts.

    This book was heartbreaking but also hopeful. It was one of my most anticipated books of 2018 and I’m so glad it didn’t disappoint me.

  • Karlita | Tale Out Loud

    Adina and Tovah Seigel may be twins but they were entirely different in every sense possible. The only thing that they have in common was the hate and jealousy they felt for each other.

    is a

    who devoted her whole life in it. She took her music very seriously and was not afraid to take the risk, being comfortable with her own skin or bringing herself with confidence and pride. She also had private lessons with her Indian music teacher, Arjun and her passion in becoming a solois

    Adina and Tovah Seigel may be twins but they were entirely different in every sense possible. The only thing that they have in common was the hate and jealousy they felt for each other.

    is a

    who devoted her whole life in it. She took her music very seriously and was not afraid to take the risk, being comfortable with her own skin or bringing herself with confidence and pride. She also had private lessons with her Indian music teacher, Arjun and her passion in becoming a soloist never wore off. She may be a rebel at times, handling everything well on the outside but she have a lot of weak spots that no one knows about.

    , on the other hand, was a

    —an AP kid, a scientist, an athlete, a student council rep and a hospital volunteer. She excelled in everything she wanted to accomplished and had her next ten years of life perfectly planned out. She dreamt of getting in at Johns Hopkins and be a surgeon. She also keep

    religiously and everything that has something to do with their Jewish traditions.

    On their 18th birthday, they both got tested for an early diagnosis on

    . When they found out the genetic test results, that's when everything went upside down for the Seigel—

    .

    There was something about Adina that drawn me to her words, the symphony of her voice, the classical quality of her rhythm and

    . Sometimes I felt like invading her private space but I couldn't stop knowing her more in every chapter. She was a mystery I wanted to crack open to uncover the deepest secrets or a song that tells between every beat of the music.

    Though I was longing for Adina, I felt every emotions that Tovah had. The relief that has been snatched too soon for her to enjoy, the guilt of every possibilities she could make in her lifetime, the rejection that came from her dreams and her best friend, and the heaviness of the choices she needed to make on her own.

    There were times it felt too much and I needed time to breathe like how she needed hers.

    Same went with Adina. Everything she have gone through was a vicious turmoil. I like how confident she was with her own sexuality but also knew how guys took advantage of her vulnerability and I knew how hopeless she felt was. I couldn't picked which twin to root because I rooted for both.

    They fell apart like the shedding leaves from the trees and covered their hearts with snow caps in winter or sprung the rebirth of old relationships and enjoy every waves of whatever life will bring for both of them.

    I love how the author made the supporting characters brought complexity on both twins which gave a riveting structure and depth to the characters making them flawed, imperfect and human or how they stir emotions without glamorizing the truth and reality of life as a whole.

    I like the mention of different culture, on both Indian and Jewish, or how religion became an essential ingredient to the familial aspect of the story. I knew how this affected the faith of both twins and as I grew closer to them, I learned a lot about their traditions, how they spoke Hebrew at home and how they were bonded even the storm tried to crushed them all. This gave a great representation of diversity in YA with an underlying issues on

    .

    . It will pull you in, keep you on edge and before you knew it, your a babbling cadence of emotions knocking you out on your own orbit.

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  • Kat

    Wow, this was a hard book to read, but really well written. Chronic illness and SERIOUS chronic illness is an issue that not enough books touch on, or often when they do, it’s often with a very light hand. I really appreciated the way author Rachel Lynn Solomon handled this heartbreaking look at the effects of Huntington’s disease, and the decision by two sisters to be tested after watching their mother slowly get worse over the course of four years since her diagnosis.

    Tava and Adira are very d

    Wow, this was a hard book to read, but really well written. Chronic illness and SERIOUS chronic illness is an issue that not enough books touch on, or often when they do, it’s often with a very light hand. I really appreciated the way author Rachel Lynn Solomon handled this heartbreaking look at the effects of Huntington’s disease, and the decision by two sisters to be tested after watching their mother slowly get worse over the course of four years since her diagnosis.

    Tava and Adira are very different. One, a musician, the other, an academic. One comfortable with her body and (one can infer perhaps partially because of her innocence evaporating at a young age) quite forward with men, which has bad consequences. The other, shy and awkward. The sisterly jealousy, even though both have their own individual accomplishments, is right on the nose. This book strikes all sorts of good notes, from first love, to devastating heartbreak, to the wretched loneliness of feeling you are trapped with no choices in a body that will slowly kil you, to the love of a family who despite its flaws never gives in. A must read.

    Trigger Warnings:

    Please excuse typos/name misspellings. Entered on screen reader.

  • Navessa

    There are a lot of truly lovely and meaningful quotes I could have used from this book to start my review of it, but the above best sums up this reading experience. Adina and Tovah’s story is full of joy and tragedy and fear and hate and love.

    I have two sisters, and Adina and Tovah’s si

    There are a lot of truly lovely and meaningful quotes I could have used from this book to start my review of it, but the above best sums up this reading experience. Adina and Tovah’s story is full of joy and tragedy and fear and hate and love.

    I have two sisters, and Adina and Tovah’s sisterly relationship just rang so true to me. It reflected a lot of my own experiences. The petty jealousy, the competitiveness, the sometimes blinding dislike, it was all there, and then some.

    is told through dual first person PoV, and while I’ve read a lot of books that use this method of storytelling, this was hands down one of the best executed.

    Adina is a musician, and her narrative reads much like a symphony. Her chapters are filled with highs and lows, poetical metaphor, and lyrical, beautiful storytelling. Her twin, Tovah, dreams of becoming a doctor, and her chapters are written in a clean, concise, sometimes surgical voice that reflects that. From the very beginning, you’re given a clear understanding of who each girl is, and how they differ. And yet they’re twins, so the similarities are also there, subtly woven into each PoV in such a way that you can’t help but hope that they resolve their conflict and realize they’re more alike than they think.

    And there is a LOT of conflict within this book.

    Imagine that your mother has a fatal disease. One that manifests much like rapidly progressive dementia, only with the addition of more apparent physical symptoms along with the memory loss. Now imagine finding out that you’ve inherited it. Every time your mother forgets a name, or stumbles, or has a facial tic, or slurs her speech, you’re forced to watch your own fate. A thousand times a week, you bear witness to the inescapable reality of your future. Now imagine having a twin who has escaped this fate.

    Talk about a firestorm of emotions.

    The fact that Adina and Tovah’s relationship was fraught with betrayal and animosity before one is diagnosed with Huntington’s only makes the resulting emotional turmoil that much more intense. The dual PoVs add an interesting dimension to this for the reader, because you find yourself sympathetic to both, angry at each in turn for what they do to the other, and yet also empathetic.

    I loved it. I loved that I couldn’t figure out who I was meant to root for. Now that I’ve finished the book, I’m pretty sure it was both.

    This is a more mature YA, complete with swearing and sex and mental health issues. There are some stronger themes in here than a lot of the contemporary YA that I’ve read, and I’m happy to say that they were very well portrayed, and handled with the depth they deserve. There’s also some great representation of diversity in this, and I love that I’m seeing more and more of it in YA.

    The sisters – well, Tovah, at least – would identify as conservative Jewish. Their faith is an integral part of the story. Not only do they speak Hebrew at home, but there are a hundred smaller references to their beliefs and practices throughout this. It was superbly executed. As a non-Jewish reader, I never felt overwhelmed or confused about the details. I never felt as if I was being lectured or preached to, like I sometimes have with other books including a strong religious aspect. It was just who they were.

    Was this an easy read? No. And you should know that going in. You are probably going to feel ALL the emotions. You are probably going to get

    angry with these sisters. But know that it’s all worth it. Because the ending, while not a perfectly tied up little bow of peace and happiness and resolution (which would be BS if it was), at least leaves you feeling like these two have learned and grown, and will continue to do so off the page.

    I can’t recommend this enough for YA readers. I enjoyed it so much that Rachel Lynn Solomon is going on my one-click list. She’s truly an author to watch.

  • Elyse Walters

    “Tomorrow , when we turn eighteen, Adi and I will take a genetic test that will tell us whether we’ve inherited

    our mother’s Huntington’s disease, the asteroid that knocked our family out of orbit four years ago. The black hole swallowing her up".

    Tova and Adina ( Adi), are Fraternal twins.

    Adi doesn’t feel ready to take the test. She doesn’t want to know.

    Tova does want to know.

    Because of a past incident a couple years ago between the sisters - Adi has promised she would take the test with her

    “Tomorrow , when we turn eighteen, Adi and I will take a genetic test that will tell us whether we’ve inherited

    our mother’s Huntington’s disease, the asteroid that knocked our family out of orbit four years ago. The black hole swallowing her up".

    Tova and Adina ( Adi), are Fraternal twins.

    Adi doesn’t feel ready to take the test. She doesn’t want to know.

    Tova does want to know.

    Because of a past incident a couple years ago between the sisters - Adi has promised she would take the test with her sister Tova on their 18th birthday.

    She owes Tova.

    They take the test - wait three weeks for the results.

    We take a journey with Tova and Adi -

    with their family - their friends - their passions and talents - ( music and medicine) - their love interests - their sexual awakening - their Jewish faith - their life purpose- the struggles with their sister- twin-relationship.

    The trials and tribulations that Tova and Adina go through are heartbreaking.

    If you were turning 18 years old tomorrow would you take a genetic test that would let you know whether or not you were going to develop

    Huntington’s Disease - a debilitating disease ending in death- given one of your parents was already suffering with it at age 42?

    There is a 50% chance you could test positive.

    And if you knew at age 18 - so young - how might life change?

    The author wrote a compassionate page turning story

    We walk along side both sisters. Our emotions are invested. We care.

    We have thoughts about their choices.

    Tova and Adina are very different. Very different types of young women.

    Personally - I admired both of them. I felt they were both warriors in their own way fighting their own inner battles.

    Big Thanks to *Nancy* who recommended I read this book! Absolutely- I’m glad I did!!!!

    Thanks, Nancy!!!

  • Heather 'Bookables'

    4 1/2

    I really enjoyed this book. It was about 2 things I don’t read about to often; The Jewish culture & Huntingtons Disease. It also was about family to the core. Even though Adi and Tov are fraternal twins they are not close anymore and barely speak. Throughout the course of this book we see them finally get closer and try to understand each other.

    📖

    Huntington’s Disease is horrible and so scary. I felt for this family so very much. It was scary watching one of the twins learn that she will

    4 1/2

    I really enjoyed this book. It was about 2 things I don’t read about to often; The Jewish culture & Huntingtons Disease. It also was about family to the core. Even though Adi and Tov are fraternal twins they are not close anymore and barely speak. Throughout the course of this book we see them finally get closer and try to understand each other.

    📖

    ☕️

    Huntington’s Disease is horrible and so scary. I felt for this family so very much. It was scary watching one of the twins learn that she will have the disease one day and that everything she can do now she won’t ever be able to do again. It’s definitely something that needs to be talked about more.

    📖

    ☕️

    Overall would definitely recommend this book. I don’t think I’ve heard a ton of people talk about it but I really enjoyed it. Its a sad book for sure but the writing is beautiful and the characters are so flawed and complex.

  • Lola

    Not many know this, but my father died from cancer when I was a baby. I don’t remember anything about him. All I know is what I’ve been told and what I’ve seen in family pictures.

    Like Tovah and Adina, who underwent a genetic test for Huntington’s disease, my brother and I could get tested to see if we risk developing leukemia, like our father did, but because our family prefers not to dwell on the past, this isn’t something I’ve thought about before.

    Until I read this book. What if my brother a

    Not many know this, but my father died from cancer when I was a baby. I don’t remember anything about him. All I know is what I’ve been told and what I’ve seen in family pictures.

    Like Tovah and Adina, who underwent a genetic test for Huntington’s disease, my brother and I could get tested to see if we risk developing leukemia, like our father did, but because our family prefers not to dwell on the past, this isn’t something I’ve thought about before.

    Until I read this book. What if my brother and I do get tested, and one of us discovers that they carry the gene and are at high risk of developing it? Will it change the relationship we have today, will it make us look at the world, and each other, differently? What if both of us will develop it in the future?

    These are questions that are explored in this story. It is a captivating story that I had no problem visualizing and be emotionally-invested in. The characters are three-dimensional, but there is one sister I was able to connect with more than the other: Tovah. She is smart, ambitious, empathetic—I saw myself in her.

    Adina, while a realistic teenager, is selfish. She falls for her viola teacher, and she doesn’t realize that there’s something not quite right about it. It gives her a thrill to do things behind other people’s backs. She doesn’t tell anyone about them, and although she tries at times to rebuild the connection that crumbled years ago with her fraternal twin, she isn’t trying very hard. Not only that, but she is self-destructive, taking the revelation of her developing Huntington’s in the future very, very seriously.

    As she should. But she knows this affects her deeply, and still, she doesn’t seek help or has a long conversation about it with her family or someone she trusts. She sticks to the usual, ‘‘I tested positive but I’m dealing with it,’’ or blatantly lying about her mental health. This is not how I, personally, would have reacted and behaved if I had gotten such bad news, and she is only two years younger than I am.

    A poignant story, but it’s hard not to judge Adina’s self-destructive behaviour, especially when she has such a loving family that is always there for her, and a sibling who is willing to reconnect. And of course, this made me start to think seriously about what runs in my family and if a visit to the doctor is long-overdue.

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  • Rachel Solomon

    Update on 1/2/18: YOU'LL MISS ME WHEN I'M GONE is officially out in the world today!!

    Update on 11/14/17: Now that advance copies are out in the world, I want to note that this book deals with heavy issues that aren't evident from the description. Adding a TW here for self-harm and suicidal ideation. If you would like specific page numbers or further information, please let me know, and I'm happy to provide that. You can contact me through my website:

    .

    Up

    Update on 1/2/18: YOU'LL MISS ME WHEN I'M GONE is officially out in the world today!!

    Update on 11/14/17: Now that advance copies are out in the world, I want to note that this book deals with heavy issues that aren't evident from the description. Adding a TW here for self-harm and suicidal ideation. If you would like specific page numbers or further information, please let me know, and I'm happy to provide that. You can contact me through my website:

    .

    Update: YOU'LL MISS ME WHEN I'M GONE will officially be out in the world on January 2, 2018!

    I am so beyond excited to share this book! It is dual POV, narrated by both sisters, and contains a lot of things that are dear to my heart: ambitious, sometimes unlikable girls, complex sibling relationships, awkward and all-consuming first love, moral gray areas, and protagonists who are practicing Jews. I can't wait for you to read it!

  • Dahlia

    Oh, this was really, really good. And yeah, I'm excited to see more Jewish rep in YA that isn't Holocaust-related, but as a sister book, as a coming-of-age, as a book about teens looking to the future, as a book about examining your own worth through other's eyes, as a book about familial relationships on the whole...yeah, this is good.

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