Modern Romance

Modern Romance

Now a New York Times BestsellerA hilarious, thoughtful, and in-depth exploration of the pleasures and perils of modern romance from one of this generation’s sharpest comedic voicesAt some point, every one of us embarks on a journey to find love. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with the hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connectio...

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Title:Modern Romance
Author:Aziz Ansari
Rating:
Edition Language:English

Modern Romance Reviews

  • Khadidja

    As a single woman I feel like Aziz Ansari knows my pain. Yes I am single by choice ( not my choice, but still a choice) , He knows how unpleasant it is to stare impotently at a screen waiting for a message that never arrives “we all have Tanya on our phones”

    As a single woman I feel like Aziz Ansari knows my pain. Yes I am single by choice ( not my choice, but still a choice) , He knows how unpleasant it is to stare impotently at a screen waiting for a message that never arrives “we all have Tanya on our phones”

     the author teamed up with sociologist Klinenberg to design and conduct a research project to better understand the dating game as it's played today. Their research program included focus groups and interviews with hundreds of people in big and small cities , They set up a discussion forum on the social networking websites, interviewed experts, consulted books on sociology, psychology and human behavior.

    the book deals with online dating

    * LMAO* :D

    Also the books deals with the struggle of finding your soul mate ,Asking them out, dumping, sexting cheating and snooping on your partner. And the differences between marriages now and then, Emerging adulthood, and lots interesting things about dating in our technology-saturated age. I loved every second of this audiobook, Aziz is such a funny actor/comedian

  • Kelly (and the Book Boar)

    Find all of my reviews at:

    3.5 Stars

    went on my TBR as soon as I heard rumors of its existence. We’re talking about waiting

    for this damn thing (and also never being able to track down an ARC) . . .

    Quick confession – I never bothered reading the synopsis for this book. I saw Aziz Ansari had a “romance” book coming out and my brain immediately thought it would be something like “Tom Haverford’s Guide to Dating” . . .

    If I would have bothe

    Find all of my reviews at:

    3.5 Stars

    went on my TBR as soon as I heard rumors of its existence. We’re talking about waiting

    for this damn thing (and also never being able to track down an ARC) . . .

    Quick confession – I never bothered reading the synopsis for this book. I saw Aziz Ansari had a “romance” book coming out and my brain immediately thought it would be something like “Tom Haverford’s Guide to Dating” . . .

    If I would have bothered reading the blurb, I would have realized that:

    This book was

    science-y. And not in a bad way either. It was an exploration of how finding a match has morphed from the 1950s to the present – but with an Ansari twist that brought the LOLz:

    begins with Ansari admitting that he’s totally a girl. (HA! Just kidding. Bet that got some of you who have accused Mitchell and I of being women haters here on Goodreads all worked up.) Seriously though, Ansari’s introduction includes him picturing his future with a woman he made out with one night, questioning whether a text message came off too desperate or needy, wondering whether the lack of response to said text message is because of him or because some horrible accident befell his potential soulmate, etc. Basically, he proves in three pages that chicks and dudes are

    when it comes to modern day relationships.

    Then there was a brief trip on the waybackmachine a lá

    which included interviews of nursing home residents regarding how/when/where they met their spouse (there was also a lot of talk about how delicious donuts are in this segment. Mmmmmmm, donuts). I confirmed that I could easily be transplanted to the 1950s since I got married when I was a fetus instead of waiting until I was pushing 30 like modern-day women tend to do. *shrug*

    The book then fast-forwards through the ages to today and the land of terrifying technology . . .

    It covered everything from the mind games of not immediately responding to text messages in order to not appear desperate, to how modern romance works in countries other than ‘Murica, to online dating (I’m telling you, if it gets any easier than Tinder y’all single folks might as well just buy sex robots and save yourself the time and effort of leaving the house), to

    snooping on your significant other . . .

    and reminded readers that you might not always get a boner every time you touch your beloved’s hair, but that doesn’t mean you’re “settling.”

    If you’re looking for a laugh a second book of Ansari’s hits and misses when it comes to the romance game, this probably isn’t the choice for you. However, if you’re interested in a sociological study of how dating has evolved over time with some humor added in to the mix, this one’s a winner. And really – who can pass up getting to know a little more about Aziz Ansari’s outlook on love . . .

    ^^^crosses fingers^^^^

  • Sarah Actually

    This book ended up not being totally what I expected going in, but it was still very enjoyable and I actually learned a lot. Thanks Aziz. And thanks for reading it to me, even though you kept calling me lazy the whole time. I'M NOT LAZY AZIZ. I LISTENED TO IT WHILE I DROVE TO AND FROM MY *JOB* OKAY.

    It's fine. We're cool.

  • Anne

    So, this isn't really a

    book about Aziz Ansari's dating experiences, it's more like a book about dating in the modern world, written by the very

    Aziz Ansari.

    I was introduced to Aziz's stand-up by my oldest son, and I've been hooked on him ever since. He's hilarious, and if you haven't seen him perform you're missing out. Which makes me wish I'd listened to this as an audiobook...

    Turns out, Aziz and his partner, Eric Klinenberg, did quite a bit of research for this book. Now, is

    So, this isn't really a

    book about Aziz Ansari's dating experiences, it's more like a book about dating in the modern world, written by the very

    Aziz Ansari.

    I was introduced to Aziz's stand-up by my oldest son, and I've been hooked on him ever since. He's hilarious, and if you haven't seen him perform you're missing out. Which makes me wish I'd listened to this as an audiobook...

    Turns out, Aziz and his partner, Eric Klinenberg, did quite a bit of research for this book. Now, is it the

    book out there on this subject? The most detailed investigation with the most clinical data?

    But there was

    more research-y stuff in here than I was expecting from a book written by a stand-up comedian & actor. Between the two of them, they did focus groups, had pie charts, and looked at how people dated in a few different cultures. Not a ton, but a few!

    Japan (Tokyo, in particular) was interesting! I'd heard about their lack of interest in sex, but I didn't realize it was now such a big deal that the government was stepping in to help out. You'd think Tokyo would be a hopping place for singles, but evidently...not so much.

    Even so, it sounds like a

    place to visit!

    They looked at Paris to see what a more

    culture thought about monogamy, and the results were...less surprising.

    More Parisians were cool with (a bit of) cheating than other countries.

    They also looked at Buenos Aries, which is (supposedly) a more aggressive city for dating. As in, the guys are aggressive and take catcalling to a whole new level. Or maybe it's a game both genders play in that culture?

    Either way, catcalling is gross, disrespectful, and not the way to meet your soul mate. <--just my opinion.

    Now, if you've ever seen Ansari's stand-up, you've probably seen him get someone out of the audience and scroll through their texts.

    is like Aziz scrolling through thousands of personal texts to see what people are saying to each other. What's dating like for singles when there are so many ways to communicate? When everything is instantaneous? When you can swipe a face to connect, or send out mass generic messages on a dating site?

    How do you connect without being a needy dork or a creeper?

    What

    the correct etiquette?

    Can you break up via text? Or ask someone to the prom in an IM?

    Are those, in fact,

    methods of communications?!

    Is love in the digital age

    or

    ? Are singles making rookie mistakes that knock them out of them out of the game, or is the game itself a tad more full of potential landmines than it was when I was single?

    As Aziz points out, these stupid blunders just

    have happened 20 years ago.

    The point he makes is that the landscape for dating has changed...again. And I'm sure it will continue to morph and alter into something unrecognizable in another 20 years. That's not necessarily a bad thing, at all. In fact, there are upsides (searching for someone you connect with on a deep level, instead of settling) and downsides (expecting too much from one person, and not being satisfied) when it comes to Modern Romance.

    Admittedly, I had no

    reason to want to read a book about dating.

    I'm not looking for love because I already had my very Unmodern Romance.

    I simply wanted to take a peek at how the other half lives. And it was pretty enlightening! No, I don't feel sorry for the singles out there today. I don't think it's any harder, but it's definitely

    for them than it was for me. Every era has its own pitfalls, but in the end, I think we all want the same thing.

  • Nandakishore Varma

    I got married in 1989. In India in those days, "love" marriages were still exceptions rather than the norm: when you had to look at the religion, caste, family background, and age of a possible partner who was to share your life (divorces were absolute stigma!) before hitching up, falling in love was like solving a mathematical equation with too many constraints. For a nerdy, uncouth, shy and bookish youngster who got tongue-tied in presence of a halfway-pretty girl, this was even more of a nigh

    I got married in 1989. In India in those days, "love" marriages were still exceptions rather than the norm: when you had to look at the religion, caste, family background, and age of a possible partner who was to share your life (divorces were absolute stigma!) before hitching up, falling in love was like solving a mathematical equation with too many constraints. For a nerdy, uncouth, shy and bookish youngster who got tongue-tied in presence of a halfway-pretty girl, this was even more of a nightmare.

    Fortunately, as an educated young man from an aristocratic family, with a good job to boot, my prospects on the marriage market were bright. In the world of arranged marriages, I was “hot property”. Like Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy in

    , mothers with daughters of marriageable age who knew my mother or father considered me as the rightful property of their daughters. Discussions of “possible alliances” were rife, and my mother was having to fend off quite a few of her more aggressive friends.

    Even though it gave my ego a sort of boost to be so sought after, in my heart of hearts I was intimidated by the thought of marriage. On the one hand, I was an incurable romantic, always falling in love with a pretty girl and writing bad poetry; on the other, my cynical and sarcastic self continuously mocked me. Also, as a rebellious liberal, I was against the whole concept of “arranged” marriages. So I shied away from all the proposals, giving the excuse that I was not ready.

    One day in February 1989, I went into my favourite bookshop and came across an unbelievable book sale where I picked up a bunch of absolutely awesome books for a pittance. I came home, drunk on my luck, when my mother told me that a marriage proposal had come from her classmate and close friend, for her daughter. In the euphoria of getting all those cool tomes, I agreed to see the girl’s photo.

    I got it a couple of days later, just took one look at it, and fell head over heels in love. A meeting was arranged the coming week; we talked to each other for around 20 minutes and hey presto! I was engaged. We got married that December.

    We have been together ever since. So I always wonder: is romance all it’s cracked up to be?

    ---------------

    Pardon this lengthy episode about my marital journey. I was continuously reminded of the “good old days” while reading this book, especially when I read this:

    In the current world of internet dating, I would still probably be “swiping right” on a dating app, looking for that perfect girl waiting out there for me.

    Aziz Ansari has done a wonderful job of explaining how the digital world has invaded the romantic arena. In olden days, the only hope of meeting a possible partner was out in the real world. If you were a caveman, you just banged the nearest attractive female on the head and dragged her into your cave: in more modern times, you met her in family gatherings, at the workplace and later on, in singles bars. However, since you were geographically limited, there was a limit to your romantic territory. The upside? People got married with someone they found reasonably attractive and settled down.

    Now, with the advent of the internet, the sky is literally the limit. People can visit dating sites; with dating apps like Tinder, just swiping right on an attractive picture is enough. If the other person also swipes right, you are practically hitched.

    (This is happening a lot in India too. We have marriage sites where you can filter down the choices caste and state-wise, and pick up a romance which will be easily approved by family. People have started calling them “arranged” love marriages. Talk about oxymorons!)

    However, the downside of this infinite choice that one keeps on window-shopping. Less and less people settle down – they remain digital Casanovas throughout their life. The relative anonymity provided by computers have a helped a lot of nerdy types get in on the act: so while romance has flourished, marriage has taken a hit. And it does not help that even adultery has become easier with the advent of sexting!

    My main problem with this book is that Ansari continuously tries to do his stand-up comedy act. It is not needed – the subject is fascinating by itself. And the jokes fall rather flat in the print medium, I must say.

    ---------------

    Oh, one last thing – if I had started my romantic life after the advent of goodreads, I would hazard a guess and say that I’d still be single. I am so hopelessly in love with most of the wonderful ladies out here, that I’d still be debating on whom to bang on the head and drag into my cave. :D

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