The Martian

The Martian

This is an alternate cover edition for B00EMXBDMA ABOUT THE MARTIANSix days ago, astronaut Mark Watney became one of the first people to walk on Mars. Now, he’s sure he’ll be the first person to die there.After a dust storm nearly kills him and forces his crew to evacuate while thinking him dead, Mark finds himself stranded and completely alone with no way to even signal E...

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Title:The Martian
Author:Andy Weir
Rating:
Edition Language:English

The Martian Reviews

  • Jeffrey Keeten

    When I read the line “kind of explode” I couldn’t help thinking of Arn

    When I read the line “kind of explode” I couldn’t help thinking of Arnold Schwarzenegger in the movie

    , face contorted, eyes bulging as the oxygen deprived atmosphere of Mars was about to detonate his head.

    Mark Watney, Mars astronaut, has a lot to worry about. It is hard to say if he has more to worry about than Douglas Quaid/Hauser (Arnold’s character in the movie). At least he doesn’t have people trying to kill him on Mars. In fact, when his fellow astronauts left he effectively became:

    It might be the shortest reign in history.

    He amends that thought with:

    Watney is far from stupid. He scavenges like a futuristic version of Robinson Crusoe from the left over debris of the Hermes crew’s hasty departure. The incident that “ended” Watney’s life had them in a panic.

    He finds a whole memory stick of seventies sitcoms to keep him occupied and more importantly stuff to keep him alive.

    Watney becomes the first farmer on Mars. He knows he doesn’t have enough food to last until the next mission to Mars is scheduled so he has to improvise. Luckily the crew was to be there over the Thanksgiving holiday and for morale purposes NASA sent along potatoes with those all important eyes intact.

    When he finds a way to communicate with Earth in one of his more spectacular MacGuyver moments they tell him that he is going to have to drive to another site where there is a rocket ship, already delivered, waiting for the next mission. He will drive on terrain that looks like this:

    The ship is in Giovanni Schiaparelli’s crater. Watney being Watney has a few juvenile observations about his arrival at the crater.

    The science is unbelievable and since Andy Weir was a fifteen year old prodigy and is obviously still extremely bright in middle age I have to believe him that he has this all figured out. Watney injects humor as he explains his innovative scientific brilliance which at times had my eyes glazed over trying to keep up. So even as you are getting overwhelmed by the science Weir will elicit an eye roll from the more sophisticated reader. He might even inspire an outright chortle if you are of the low brow variety of humor lovers. I must be more of the pan-humor variety as he elicited a wide range of sniggers, snorts, and raised eyebrows from me.

    The one thing that might save your life on Mars, Earth or any other planet you might want to visit is something that NASA didn’t invent.

    Watney worships duct tape and given the hairbrained ideas he puts into practice he needs miles and miles of it.

    Weir convinced me that Watney could live on Mars for over a year while awaiting rescue. With mangled equipment, a harsh unforgiving terrain, and the ever present, one more thing going wrong, depression that Watney has to overcome everyday, this reader started feeling the pain of failure and the elation of success right along with him. As the world learns he is alive humanity began rooting not for the American to live, but for the human species to triumph.

    In the 1970s when I was old enough to watch what NASA was doing and marvelled at our ability to do the impossible. It was a time when absolutely anything seemed achievable. We’d had leadership that insisted that we needed to go to the moon. We still built things, now it feels like the monuments of our times are being built other places. I do think we all miss having a common goal. Something that we all feel we are a part of, something larger than ourselves. With a space program gutted and the idea of a manned mission to Mars staggeringly expensive it makes me realize how lucky I was to grow up in a time when it really felt like the impossible was possible. I’m probably the last of the optimists who still believes that we have to go see it; we have to put our footprint on it; we have to scatter our debris around and say ‘yes we were here’. We need a Mark Watney to be lost on Mars so we have something to cheer for that brings us together as a species.

    Besides book reviews I also have started writing movie reviews. These can be found at my blog

  • Will Byrnes

    Ok, show of hands. How many of you have uttered these exact words? (or words to that effect). Not everyone? I see we have some liars out there. How many have said them at least twice? Three times? Four? Those with hands still up, you probably need to make some adjustments to your approach, find a safer line of work, hobbies that do not entail long drops, stop trying the weekly specials at McBlowfish, or seek out people to date who are into less extreme…um…sports. These a

    Ok, show of hands. How many of you have uttered these exact words? (or words to that effect). Not everyone? I see we have some liars out there. How many have said them at least twice? Three times? Four? Those with hands still up, you probably need to make some adjustments to your approach, find a safer line of work, hobbies that do not entail long drops, stop trying the weekly specials at McBlowfish, or seek out people to date who are into less extreme…um…sports. These are the opening words of

    . Astronaut Mark Watney is definitely more screwed than most of us have ever been. Dude missed his ride and there will not be another along for, oh, four years. Supplies on hand were only meant to cover a few weeks, maybe months. And that Martian atmosphere is definitely no fun, lacking stuff like, oh, breathable air, and a reasonable range of temperature. It does, offer, however, extremely harsh (good for scouring that burned on gunk from sauce pans) and long-lasting (as in months) dust storms. And if that was not enough he faces an array of other challenges.

    No, Kibby (the 12-year-old kibitzer who infects my brain), no

    brain beasts, or that other guy, even though I know he is your favorite. Real challenges. For example, the music he has for his stay consists of disco. The viewing options include 70s TV. Most of us might give serious consideration to minimizing the guaranteed pain, frustration, starvation and inevitable death by, maybe, taking a short hustle outside sans that special suit. It would be a very, very short last dance. Watney is either a cock-eyed optimist or an idiot. I'm going with the former, as he is indeed made of the right stuff. He is armored and well supplied with the sort of can-do designer genes that might make the rest of us feel like the can’t-do sorts we are. He is the poster boy for positive attitude. It does not hurt that he is way smart, with expertise in a wide-enough range of things scientific to matter. It does not hurt that he is an engineer who gets off on taking apart, putting back-together, figuring out, thinking through, testing, trying, and pushing envelopes. But his crew is headed home, and what hope is there, really?

    tells of Watney’s attempt to survive in a literally alien environment, using only the tools on hand and his wits. It is a gripping story with one of the most adorable heroes you are likely to encounter, on this planet or any other. (No, Kibby, not a kitten) How could you not root for a guy who scrapes through Thanksgiving dinner for potato parts to plant for food? Of course, one might think “been there, done that,” particularly as 1964’s

    offered a retelling of Daniel Defoe’s classic tale in a more contemporary notion of a remote locale. A 1905 novel used a different classic traveler in the same sort of format.

    Of course those tellings had a lot more in common with the Barsoom of Edgar Rice Burroughs as seen by Frank Frazetta than they do with the vision we have of the Red Planet today, or, say, reality.

    Reality

    Or is it?

    Most of the tale is spent on Watney’s very compelling attempt to survive, going through all the challenges he faces trying to make air, preserve and maybe generate water, make his food last, get some sort of communication set up, deal with things like exploding air-locks, biblical level dust-storms, toppling ground-transport vehicles, you know, stuff, most of it life-threatening. The other end of things is how the folks on the ground deal with this GInornous OOPS. There are technical elements, of course but more interesting, for me, were the political considerations. To tell the crew or not? Imagine how bummed out, embarrassed, and guilty you might be on that ship (the Hermes) returning home, knowing you had left one behind. Might it affect your ability to take care of necessary business for the next bunch of months? Another question is whether to tell the public, and if so, when. How about getting help from other space-capable nations? Are any international dealings simple? There is also some in-house (NASA) staff maneuvering that is wonderful to see.

    In her fabulous book on writing,

    , Anne Lamott writes

    Probably the greatest strength of

    is the narration of Mark Watney. He is engaging and funny, optimistic and capable. I suppose there are some who might find him lacking in sharp edges, but I thought he worked great.

    – from the film.

    The new earth-based shooting location was

    , Jordan. I am sure they did plenty of color adjustments in post, but boy-o-boy does this place look like an alien landscape.

    Yes, really, there is too much scientific detail. It is not that it is beyond the comprehension of a lot of readers (although it will skip by a fair number) it is the share of time, the number of pages, the sheer volume of obstacles to be overcome, and the very detailed explanation of so many of them that tilts the book a bit too much towards the MacGyver demo. Weir writes very well about the other elements of the story. Repetition of DANGER, WILL ROBINSON, with the subsequent amazingly clever repair du jour, does get a bit old after a while. I had to fight an urge to scan at times.

    But that is really it. Otherwise,

    is an absolute delight to read. Watney is lovable as well as capable, and makes excellent use of his sense of humor to look on the bright side of life, in a very dark circumstance.

    Whether he makes it out on time or not (not gonna spoil that one) you will cheer him on, hope for the best, and fly past those pages with considerable, if maybe not interplanetary, speed. Is there

    ? There will be while you read this book.

    Review posted – 1/16/15

    Updated and trotted out there again on release of the film - 10/2/15

    This review has been cross-posted on my site,

    Publication date – self-pub in 2011 – Bought, edited and published by Crown 10/28/2014

    PS - Saw the film on 10/9/15 and it kicks ass! Go see it if you haven't already. It is very true to the book, with the improvement of not getting bogged down in details, has a great cast, looks amazing and does a fantastic job of promoting science.

    =============================

    Links to the author’s

    and

    pages.

    5/24/16 - Weir wrote a short story prequel to

    , called

    . I posted a

    this week. It included a link to the story, so you can read it for yourself.

    August, 2016 - At the Hugo awards Weir wins the John W, Campbell award for best new writer, and the screenplay for the film wins for Best Dramatic Presentation, long form

    on Gutenberg

    by Edwin Lester Linden Arnold on Gutenberg

    For a real Martian experience check out NASA’s

    For a realer Martian experience, and ideal for those trying to keep one step ahead of creditors and/or the law, you might want to consider applying to

    , no joke. There is more on this project below but the above link is for the selection process, just in case you don’t mind a strictly one-way journey.

    A nifty article from the NY Times (10/5/15) about the woman at NASA responsible for seeing to it that we do not bring Earth germs you-know-where -

    - by Kenneth Chang

    I bet you thought I’d forgotten these guys. No chance! I just ran out of time to figure out how to stuff them into the review. So, sorry, I am stuffing them here. That sounds so wrong.

    If you want to experience Mars while still on earth, it is indeed possible

    A general National Geo

    on Mars

    Planetary.Org has an excellent

    to date, and some that are in process

    When you are checking your ancestry some of that unusual DNA might come from a place, far, far away. Two scientists look at the unfortunately named notion of

    ,

    which addresses the possibility that the genesis of life on Earth had its opening act

    .

    If you want to know Who goes to Mars for the waters, the answer is

    And speaking of Eau d'Ares,

    on the presence of H2OMG you know where, in the 9/28/15 article in the NY Times - by Kenneth Chang. Thanks to my pal, Henry B, for this refreshing item.

    8/31/16 - Another recommendation from the intrepid Henry B. Planning any long trips, HB? -

    by Katie Rogers

    - New York Times

    - image from NY Times who got it from NASA who got it from JPL

    Here is a nifty article from The New Yorker, on work being done to cope with inter-planetary cabin fever.

    by Tom Kizzia - from the April 20, 2015 issue

    9/12/16 - If, like Quint, you think we're gonna need a bigger boat, to get to Mars that is, Jeff Bezos's Blue Origin company may have just the thing -

    - By Daniel Victor for the New York Times

    9/27/16 - New York Times -

    - by Kenneth Chang

    10/25/16 -National Geographic is producing a documentary series about our favorite red-tinted neighbor (no, not the lady across the way who got too much sun. Put those binoculars away NOW). Coverage in the latest issue includes a whole passel of things Martian. Enjoy. -

    From the August 2017 National Geographic -

    - By Natasha Daly

    - from the above NatGeo article

    9/17/17 - Washington Post re-printing an AP story -

    - Caleb Jones

    12/16/17 - NY Times Sunday Review - Tim Kreider offers his take on why we should go Red -

    All right. We’re all done now. You’d better get going or Marvin will lose his cool

    Oh, sorry Marvin, just one more thing, lists.

    Abbott and Costello go to Mars

    The Angry Red Planet

    Bad Girls From Mars

    The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars

    Capricorn One

    Devil Girl From Mars

    Doom

    Empire of Danger

    Escape From Mars

    Flight to Mars

    Ghosts of Mars

    Invaders from Mars

    The Last days on Mars

    Lost on Mars

    Mars Needs Moms

    Mars Needs Women

    Mission to Mars

    Race to Mars

    Red Planet

    Red Planet Mars

    Robinson Crusoe on Mars

    Rocket Man

    Roving Mars

    Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

    Stranded

    The Terror from Beyond Space

    Total Recall

    – PBS

    Life On Mars –

    Life on Mars –

    – Proposed - (check this one out)

    2312 – Kim Stanley Robinson

    The Barsoom Series by Edgar Rice Burroughs

    -----

    on Gutenberg - and

    -----

    -----

    -----

    -----

    -----

    -----

    -----

    -----

    -----

    -----John Carter of Mars

    Blades of Mars – Edward P. Bradbury

    C.O.D Mars – E.C. Tubb

    The Caves of Mars – Emil Petaja

    Children of Mars – Paul G Day

    City of the Beast – Michael Moorcock

    The Daughter of Mars – Thomas Keneally

    The Empress of Mars – Kage Baker

    First on Mars – Rex Gordon

    Icehenge – Kim Stanley Robinson

    Life on Mars – Jennifer Brown

    Life on Mars (a different one) – Jonathan Strahan

    The Long Mars – Terry Pratchett

    Mars – Ben Bova

    Mars is my Destination – Frank Belknap Long

    Mars Plus – Frederick Pohl

    The Mars Trilogy – Kim Stanley Robinson

    -----Blue Mars

    -----Green Mars

    -----Red Mars

    Marsquakes – Kevin F. Owens

    The Martian Chronicles – Ray Bradbury

    Masters of the Pit – Michael Moorcock

    Moving Mars – Greg Bear

    No Man Friday – Rex Gordon

    Old Mars – George R.R. Martin

    Packing for Mars – Mary Roach – ok, not a novel

    Podkayne of Mars - Robert Heinlein

    Prelude to Mars – Arthur C. Clarke

    Priests of Mars – Graham McNeill

    The Road to Mars – Eric Idle

    The Sands of Mars – Arthur C. Clarke

    Sebastian Of Mars – Al Sarrantino

    Shadow Over Mars – Leigh Brackett

    Sin in Space – Cyrill Judd (Cyril M. Kornbluth and Judith Merril)

    Stranger in a Strange Land – Robert Heinlein

    Urania – Camille Flammarion

    White Mars – Brian Aldiss["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>

  • Sasha Alsberg

    I go so emotional at the end, so good!

  • Wil Wheaton

    I have never wanted so badly for the characters in a book to be real. I want to meet them all the way I want to meet the president, or Taylor Swift.

    This story is perfectly told. It is perfectly paced, it is brilliantly written, it is beautifully crafted.

    Andy Weir does this incredible thing where he make the reader

    the isolation that Mark Wagner feels, and he does it so subtly, we don't even realize that he's doing it until it's done.

    The Martian completely captivated me. I couldn't wait to f

    I have never wanted so badly for the characters in a book to be real. I want to meet them all the way I want to meet the president, or Taylor Swift.

    This story is perfectly told. It is perfectly paced, it is brilliantly written, it is beautifully crafted.

    Andy Weir does this incredible thing where he make the reader

    the isolation that Mark Wagner feels, and he does it so subtly, we don't even realize that he's doing it until it's done.

    The Martian completely captivated me. I couldn't wait to find out what happened next, and I never wanted it to end.

  • Rick Riordan

    Adult science thriller.

    Love it, love it! A meticulously researched, briskly paced and surprisingly funny story about an astronaut left behind on Mars, presumed dead, who must now figure out how to survive and let the folks back on Earth know he is alive and needs rescue. This is hard-science science fiction. Parts of it read like really complicated (but amusing) word problems, juggling mass and time and weight, etc. But all of that adds to the realism. You can tell Andy Weir loves his space exp

    Adult science thriller.

    Love it, love it! A meticulously researched, briskly paced and surprisingly funny story about an astronaut left behind on Mars, presumed dead, who must now figure out how to survive and let the folks back on Earth know he is alive and needs rescue. This is hard-science science fiction. Parts of it read like really complicated (but amusing) word problems, juggling mass and time and weight, etc. But all of that adds to the realism. You can tell Andy Weir loves his space exploration and knows a ton about it. He totally had me convinced, anyway. The Martian is a fast read, and the main character’s irrepressible sense of humor will have you cheering for him as he tries to survive against impossible odds. I will also never eat another potato again. (Long story.) If you’re looking for a fast-paced, believable space adventure set in present day, this is your book.

  • Emily May

    Let's kick this year off with a review of a book about a guy who deserves to survive more than anyone I've ever known. This book has been lurking around in my Goodreads feed, gaining hype, and all the positive reviews from my friends eventually got too much for me - so I had to check this out for myself. I'm glad I gave in.

    has so many good things going for it. First and foremost, it is a classic tale of survival against very huge odds. In this book, Mark Wa

    Let's kick this year off with a review of a book about a guy who deserves to survive more than anyone I've ever known. This book has been lurking around in my Goodreads feed, gaining hype, and all the positive reviews from my friends eventually got too much for me - so I had to check this out for myself. I'm glad I gave in.

    has so many good things going for it. First and foremost, it is a classic tale of survival against very huge odds. In this book, Mark Watney becomes one of the first people to walk on Mars but after an accident causes him to be believed dead and abandoned by his crew, it looks like he will be the first person to die there. Like

    x a million, Mark must battle extremely foreign territory, the likelihood of starvation, and the possibility of technical failures.

    The best thing about this book is the juxtaposition between the very scientific nature of everything Mark must do to survive - gave me a renewed level of respect for how damn smart astronauts have to be - and his absolutely wonderful personality. Mark maintains his sense of humour throughout every hardship he faces - it's pretty much impossible to not be charmed by him.

    Here are some quotes:

    This book is part "serious" science-fiction, part an hilariously dark comedy that imagines a horrifying situation infused with humour and the overwhelming human desire to stay alive. It's hard to imagine that anyone who picks this up won't find themselves dragged into Mark's world, desperately needing to know what will happen to him.

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  • Kat O'Keeffe

    This book was fantastic! A thrilling survival story with a hearty dose of humor. The main character Mark was such a smartass and I LOVED IT. The voice and the premise hooked me in right away and kept me thoroughly engaged the whole time. My only real issues were that some of the minor characters didn't really stand out as much as they could've, and some of the science heavy bits were a little hard to follow and felt info-dumpy at times. But the human aspect--the heart of the story--was totally o

    This book was fantastic! A thrilling survival story with a hearty dose of humor. The main character Mark was such a smartass and I LOVED IT. The voice and the premise hooked me in right away and kept me thoroughly engaged the whole time. My only real issues were that some of the minor characters didn't really stand out as much as they could've, and some of the science heavy bits were a little hard to follow and felt info-dumpy at times. But the human aspect--the heart of the story--was totally on point, and for the most part I just had a great time reading this!

    Overall, this book was exciting and fun and oh man, am I excited for the movie! I would definitely recommend this to anyone who likes survival stories or funny thrillers or sci-fi with an emphasis on the sci!

  • Jesse (JesseTheReader)

    I'm so happy that I randomly decided to pick this book up! I did find that the story dragged a bit towards the end and some of things went over my head a little bit, but for the most part this was a fantastic read!

  • Davy-Gravy

    Unpopular opinion time: I don't like how this book is written. Watney's journals read like a nerdy blog rather than a dramatic survivor's diary. It's hard to find something harrowing and traumatic when the protagonist is saying "yay!" a lot and making incessant corny puns. "3.6 pirate-ninjas!" "Yay oxygen!" "Lol gay probe lol!!!!!1!" "Bad rover, no Scooby snack!!!111!" "LOL craaaaaaap!!1!" For me, those aren't funny, they're almost embarrassing.

    No matter what horrible thing is happening to Watne

    Unpopular opinion time: I don't like how this book is written. Watney's journals read like a nerdy blog rather than a dramatic survivor's diary. It's hard to find something harrowing and traumatic when the protagonist is saying "yay!" a lot and making incessant corny puns. "3.6 pirate-ninjas!" "Yay oxygen!" "Lol gay probe lol!!!!!1!" "Bad rover, no Scooby snack!!!111!" "LOL craaaaaaap!!1!" For me, those aren't funny, they're almost embarrassing.

    No matter what horrible thing is happening to Watney, he's sure to pull though, but not before laying a smug, cutesy zinger on us. It sucks all the tension out of any situation, which is the complete opposite of what I want in a book that's supposed to be a thriller.

    Now, don't get me wrong, Andy Weir is a great technical writer. When Watney isn't being a wacky douche, he's going on and on about some technical or mechanical or biological process that, with me not being a scientist, usually goes over my head. And that's fine, I have no fault with a book that's factually complicated like that. In fact, it's really admirable and cool that Weir is able to pool all of his expertise into a book about survival on Mars.

    That being said, other aspects of the book suffer. According to the author's bio on the back of the book, Andy Weir "was first hired as a programmer for a national laboratory at age fifteen and has been working as a software engineer ever since. He is also a lifelong space nerd and a devoted hobbyist of subjects like relativistic physics, orbital mechanics, and the history of manned spaceflight." If I can stereotype here, it shows. My guess is that he doesn't really know how people behave or interact in the real world. The dialog is stilted and awkward. The characters are all one-dimensional and flat. They almost seem like an afterthought. The emotional and psychological trauma rendered by all these near-death experiences and complete and utter isolation? What trauma? There's no mention of

    anywhere. Watney is apparently that cool and awesome of a guy, as evidenced by all his canned laugh track one-liners and grating sarcasm.

    But hey, maybe that doesn't bother some people (obviously, considering that people actually watch

    ), and they're in for a technologically-driven, "funny" space-thriller. Because I have to admit, it's a terrifyingly cool premise. It just wasn't what I was expecting. I was hoping for an emotionally-taxing, horrifying, survival drama, but instead got a cutesily witty astrophysics manual. Just because something is nerdy doesn't automatically mean that it's good.

  • Althea Ann

    'Crap! My astronaut crewmates accidentally left me behind on Mars! I'm fucked! I'm going to die! Oh wait! I just thought of something highly logically unlikely and technically complicated, that I am sure to pull off without a hitch, because did I mention that I am Plucky and Ingenious? It sure is a good thing that I am super-talented! Yay! That worked! I'm not dead! [Next chapter] But wait! Disaster has struck! Shit happens, when you're stuck alone on Mars. Whatever shall I do? OMG, I just had a

    'Crap! My astronaut crewmates accidentally left me behind on Mars! I'm fucked! I'm going to die! Oh wait! I just thought of something highly logically unlikely and technically complicated, that I am sure to pull off without a hitch, because did I mention that I am Plucky and Ingenious? It sure is a good thing that I am super-talented! Yay! That worked! I'm not dead! [Next chapter] But wait! Disaster has struck! Shit happens, when you're stuck alone on Mars. Whatever shall I do? OMG, I just had a great idea! It's a good thing I'm so naturally optimistic, because it sure would make for a bummer book if I ever showed any signs of being depressed or having any kind of mental deterioration after spending nearly two years in total solitude! Nah, I've got the fightin' spirit! I can create a life support system out of duct tape! What does Mars actually look like? Is there anything interesting from a scientific perspective about it? Who cares! I'm busy growing potatoes in shit and watching Three's Company! Did I mention that disco sucks?'

    Repeat.

    For a while.

    I do not get the hype.

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